Don't ask, don't tell
by Magenta's Nightmare
Summary: This is a story of exploration and curiosity between Merle and Daryl. ***THIS IS A MALE/MALE FIC Please read the note at the bottom of this story as it include a very important thank you to pharmtechgrl71.
_This is a male/male fic. I am not really planning to write any more of these but I totally enjoyed dabbling in this genre. I completely understand if this is not your cup of tea and if you are a regular reader of mine just know that a new CARYL story is coming right away called **Deal Breaker** so I hope to see you back for that if you are not a person who likes this kind of fiction. KUDOS to **pharmtechgrl71!** Please see the bottom of this story for her full thank you on this work. (I had to put it at the bottom for spoiler reasons:) _

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 _ **Don't ask, don't tell...**_

Merle was sat on the bus, ready to be free and grab some food and a cold beer. He hadn't seen his brother in months and couldn't wait to shoot the shit and maybe take the bikes out for a ride.

He saw him right away, leaning against the side of the bus depot smoking a cigarette.

Merle had been away working on the oil patch and hadn't had any luck getting laid the whole time. Honestly, it had been over a year and he'd never gone so long without it. Maybe there'd be someone willing in the bar, he figured, once he had a chance to shower and make himself presentable.

He got off the bus and nodded to Daryl who walked over and grabbed one of his bags for him.

He always stayed with Daryl between jobs and they went straight back to Daryl's apartment so he could get cleaned up.

"How was it up there?" Daryl asked when they got through the door.

"Boring, long days, lonely nights...good money though," he laughed, heading right for the bathroom.

He tossed his bag on the bathroom counter and peeled his shirt over his head. He looked in the mirror, trying to decide if he needed a shave or not.

Daryl appeared at the door and watched him intently.

"What?" he asked finally.

"No women up there?"

"Not really. Why do you ask?"

"You said you had lonely nights, that's all."

"You know me, I scared most of 'em off just by being me. I don't have the energy, after a long day in the sun, to pretend I'm a nice boy who wants to marry them."

"Been a hell of a dry spell then, hey?"

"Fuck it. I'll give it a shot tonight, but I'll probably end up in your spare room alone. Chicks these days want something but it ain't me," he laughed.

Merle was about to get undressed so he looked at Daryl like he wanted to know if there's anything else he needed.

Daryl took the hint and walked off to get ready to go out.

Merle scrubbed three months of grime off his skin and used the men's body wash in Daryl's shower, hoping to smell good enough to get lucky. He got out and wrapped a towel around his waist and shaved his face.

"You got any aftershave or anything, Daryl?" he shouted through the closed door.

"Under the sink in the basket thing."

Merle ducked and looked where he said but didn't find anything.

"It ain't there!"

Daryl walked in and looked in the drawer instead.

"Sorry, must have moved it. Here."

"Thanks."

"Did you ever get a tan up there," Daryl noted.

Merle looked in the mirror at his brown skin, he hadn't even noticed.

"Guess so. Was hot as fuck up there in the sun all day. Nobody worked with a shirt on."

Daryl took a deep breath and promptly left the room.

"I'll call a cab, I'm getting fucked up tonight," Daryl called.

"Yeah, me too!" Merle yelled back.

The bar in town was rough and loud and they started off with a whiskey each and a beer.

"Slim pickings tonight, brother!" Merle shouted over the music.

The only women in the bar were obviously married or generally taken. Daryl looked around and agreed with the situation.

"Still early yet," he hollered back.

An hour later Merle found himself in the middle of a group of women who were in the process of getting shitfaced for a bachelorette party and they were already all half cut. He did find a taker but he found her to be too drunk to take home. She was slurring her words and falling all over him and he just couldn't do that.

Merle was starting to feel done with everything. He couldn't seem to find a woman who just liked him for him or was anything like sober enough. He just wanted to go home.

He found Daryl sitting at their booth and slumped down across from him.

"Not going for it?" Daryl chuckled, eyeing the drunk girl still checking out his brother.

"Fuck no! That shit ain't consensual. You find someone?"

"Nah, I wasn't really looking anyway though."

Merle pulled out his smokes and they started for the door after he picked up a bottle for the road.

They called a cab and soon they were stumbling through the door of Daryl's apartment and laughing like idiots.

Merle poured a couple drinks and Daryl played some loud music just to piss off the neighbors.

"Remember that chick I had back in the day with the blonde, curly hair?" Merle sighed.

"Sheila?"

"Sharon."

"Nope, it was fucking Sheila."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you were fucking her and you can't even remember her name?" Daryl scolded.

"She's the one I actually liked too, that's sad," he laughed.

"What happened with her anyway?"

"She cheated on me."

"I didn't know that," Daryl said, a little more seriously.

"I'll never have a woman again, I swear to God! Been a fucking year now!"

"Shit! That's a long time."

"Thanks, gotta rub it in?"

"Sorry, man. We'll find you somebody."

"Forget it. I gotta fake it and jump through so many damn hoops it ain't worth it. It's been so long jerking off's getting boring," he groaned and got up to grab another drink.

"Being with women can be a bitch sometimes. They can have really high expectations sometimes, not like men."

"Being with women? Like there's a choice?"

Daryl shrugged it off and decided to change the subject. Merle probably wasn't ready to hear that he'd experimented since he went away, he was still coming to terms with it himself. Merle focused on it though and went after him about it. For being as drunk as he was he sure fixated on details.

"What do you mean by that, 'being with women'?"

"Just forget about it, I didn't mean anything. It just came out wrong."

Daryl lit a smoke and tried not to make eye contact.

A month before he'd gone home with a guy from work after drinking too much and ended up spending the night in his bed. It happened twice more and he still didn't know what to think about it. It didn't go any further than kissing and touching at first but his work friend sucked his dick the last time and he was still trying to lie to himself half the time about how much he liked it.

Merle was still eyeballing him critically from across the room, he could always read him.

"You fucking with men or something?" he asked him point blank.

Daryl didn't want to lie but he didn't want to tell him the truth, not with that look on his face.

"Merle..."

"Holy shit! You did, didn't you?"

"It's not what you think."

"What is it then? I leave for three months and you're gay now?"

Daryl knew he liked women but couldn't deny he also liked what happened with his work friend. He wasn't really surprised or offended by Merle's reaction but he didn't want to lose his brother over it. He started to wish he'd just lied about it.

"I'm going to bed, just forget about this, please."

Merle didn't say a word as Daryl got up and left the room, he didn't know what to say.

He never thought his brother would ever go that way, he could have any woman he wanted.

What would compel him to be with a man? How long had he been this way? He found he had more questions than judgment.

Nothing was about to make him hate his own brother. He wasn't even mad but his silence had probably looked that way, he had to go and explain.

He knocked on Daryl's door and waited for an answer but got none.

Daryl was either passed out or pouting so he came in anyway.

Merle found him in bed, facing the wall but still awake. He turned on the light next to the door so he could see his face but he didn't turn around. Merle sat down on the chair in the corner and waited for Daryl to react to his presence.

Daryl's bare back was exposed and Merle tried not to stare at the muscles of his arms and shoulders. His brother's body had changed over the years, he was filled out now and very strong.

"Merle, just forget about it," he said finally.

"I don't care, man...if you're gay I don't give a fuck about that. You're still my brother."

"I don't even know if I am...I was just curious."

Merle sat staring at his back and wondered what to say next but he was curious too.

A long, painful minute passed and he made himself ask.

"What was it like?"

Daryl rolled toward him slowly with a confused expression.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah. Who was it? What did you do?"

Daryl sat up and let the sheet fall to his lap. He sighed and look over at the one man he admired in his family and told the truth.

"It was good..."

Merle waited for more information, looking into his eyes with acceptance and then Daryl continued.

"It was just a guy from work. We just kissed...and touched each other."

"What else?" Merle pressed, he knew he was holding something back.

"I don't think I can say it," he said finally, the words just wouldn't come out.

"Did he fuck you?" Merle asked. He was hungry for information while simultaneously trying to tell himself that thinking of it wasn't turning him on.

"He sucked my dick, Merle."

Daryl just spit it out before he could ask anymore questions.

"Holy shit!" Merle breathed.

"Think differently about me now?"

"Yeah...but not like you think."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It's kind of...a turn on."

Merle rubbed his face with his hands, trying to gain his composure before things got too weird between them. He stood up to leave the room and stopped at the door when he heard Daryl call out to him.

"It really turns you on?"

Merle swallowed hard and nodded his head.

"It's been a long time for me...maybe that has something to do with it. It's just got my mind runnin' a little."

Merle had been suffering for any kind of kindness, care or physical contact for so long and Daryl was really the only person who actually liked him 'as is'. He never had to tone it down or pretend he was someone he wasn't, his brother was his only real friend it was hard to not feel very close to him.

"Come here," Daryl said, so softly Merle questioned if he'd heard it at all.

He took a step forward and then reached back to turn off the light.

His heart was beating clear out of his chest. Everything about it felt intellectually wrong and yet he was being pulled across the room by an invisible rope. He finally reached the side of his brothers bed and waited for some kind of information.

Daryl pulled back the blankets and Merle almost died when he could clearly see he had nothing on. The room was dim with the light off but with the streetlight shining through the curtains there was no mistaking Daryl's naked body. He hadn't seen his brother's dick since they were kids, it was different.

"Jesus Christ..." he uttered.

"You don't have to," Daryl said, pulling back the blanket.

Merle took hold of the sheet in the dim light and crawled in next to him.

"I'm just curious too," he insisted.

"It's OK."

Daryl touched his face and leaned his forehead against his older brother's. The tension grew steadily by the second but neither of them moved. Merle's breath deepened as he waited. Daryl's the one who knew what to do so he just waited.

"Don't freak out," Daryl whispered as he moved his mouth closer and pressed his lips to Merle's.

Merle closed his eyes and noted how different his lips felt than a woman's, stronger and more insistent. His blood caught fire and then race through his veins, it was like his first kiss ever in a way. It was new and terrifying and exciting all at once.

He could feel the heat of Daryl's hand against his face and he wanted more.

Next he was reaching his hand out and taking hold of his shoulder, rolling him onto his back.

It had to be just like kissing a woman, why would it be any different?

He tried to kiss him like he'd kiss a woman and found that it wasn't all that different...it felt good.

The first tentative peck kisses soon morphed when Daryl parted his lips and their tongues met.

This had to be wrong with his brother but he wanted it and he couldn't deny that. Daryl would never tell anyone, and he knew it. Maybe that's how he could trust this kind of thing in the first place.

He didn't know what Daryl expected or who was supposed to do what but his dick was starting to strain against the fly of his jeans.

Daryl took his hand and moved it down to his waist and Merle squeezed his flesh instinctively. He moved his attention to his brother's neck and it reached a fever pitch where he couldn't care less how wrong it was. It felt good and, after so long of not being touched, good would do.

Merle rolled further into him and lay one knee between Daryl's. This was insane but he needed it and couldn't stop if he tried.

Daryl started to pull his t shirt over his head and then tossed it on the floor before pulling his mouth back to his throat.

Only a few minutes and the pressure was getting painful and they both felt it.

Daryl's hands went to Merle's belt and he couldn't wait for what was to come. His brother's hand pushed it's way into the front of his pants and rubbed his hard dick.

"Fuuuuck," he whispered into the pillow.

"See? It's good, right?"

"Fuck, yes."

"Take these off," Daryl panted, pushing his jeans down onto his hips.

Merle kissed him once more before getting out of the bed and leaving his pants on the floor.

Daryl looked up at him and then down at his dick and moved over in the bed to let him back in.

"Nobody has to know," he assured him.

Merle shrugged his shoulders and slid back in.

"I don't give a fuck right now, ain't nobody's business anyway."

Daryl leaned in as they lay on their sides facing each other and held him by the back of his head. He reached down to touch him again and Merle felt his hand work him over strong but slow and precise. His foreskin slipped over the head of his dick and then back again as Daryl moved his hand in the same agonizing motion over and over.

"Christ almighty," he moaned.

He'd never touched a dick besides his own but he was about to cross that line and felt surprisingly at ease about it. He lay his hand on Daryl's thigh in a moment of brief hesitation before going for it.

His fingers finally closed around Daryl dick and he felt him shudder against his chest.

Was jerking each other off really that bad? Maybe it was, but it was happening anyway. Daryl started to thrust himself into his hand and pressed his forehead to his chest in obvious desperation to cum.

"Am I doing it right?" he asked, but he knew he was, he just wanted the feedback.

"Fuck, yes...feels so good. Your hands are so fucking strong...and big."

Merle liked the sound of it and rolled over him again and began laying kisses down his chest as his hand kept on pushing him to the edge.

Daryl squirmed against the bed sheets holding his breathe and then letting it out intermittently.

Merle knew he was close and he wanted to hear it, he wanted to see it. He needed to see Daryl lose control under him.

"Cum, Daryl...do it!"

"I'm gonna...just don't stop..."

Merle moved his mouth lower and licked from Daryl's nipple to his navel, slow like a raindrop down a window.

"Jesus, Merle...that's evil."

Merle laughed under his breath and started to jerk him off a little faster and before he could stop himself he licked the very end of his brother's dick with the tip of his tongue and Daryl groaned wantonly.

Merle figured he'd already gone this far and he loved the way Daryl was reacting. It was so close, Merle could feel it, and hear it and taste it.

He moved his mouth down over Daryl's dick and tried to imagine everything he ever wanted a woman to do to him.

Soon his mouth and hand were working in unison and he was sucking deep and slow and then Daryl jerked his knee and pushed his head out of the way.

"Christ...fuck...Jesus...uh..." he hissed, rolling onto his side. He was panting heavy and holding his hand over his eyes.

Merle lay back with his head on Daryl's pillow and looked up the the ceiling fan, waiting for him to recover. He was waiting for the inevitable guilt and shame but it was nowhere to be found, all he wanted now was to get off too.

Daryl finally got himself under control and then it was on.

He was on top of him in a heartbeat and kissing his mouth hard.

He was rough and needy and grinding himself against his thigh. Merle liked being treated rough like this, he submitted to it. He was always the boss in bed, this was different.

Daryl moved his hand down and took Merle's dick, working it with a fervor like he _needed_ to get him off.

Merle could feel it rising already he hadn't cum in ages, he'd even given up jerking off lately out of boredom.

Daryl ran his hot tongue over both of his nipples as he kept stoking the fire on his dick.

Merle wanted his dick in his mouth, he never thought he'd want such a thing but he wanted it now. The next thing he felt, however, was Daryl's tongue tracing his balls.

He sucked in his breath and tensed up, trying not to cum too fast. He never had a woman do this and it felt amazing.

Daryl pushed his leg out to the side and licked at the underside of his cock and then took one of his balls gently into his mouth.

"Oh for fuck sake!" he winced, grasping at the sheets and scrunching up his face.

He felt his left testicle being rolled softly over Daryl tongue and he moaned desperately. He was tortured by having the same act done to the other one and then it went even further out of control.

Merle was taken deep into his mouth as Daryl grabbed his ass hard. He felt himself being pulled into his mouth so deep he couldn't take it.

"Fuck!" he cried out as he let it go, he had no choice.

Daryl backed up as he came but continued to jerk him off as his orgasm plateaued somewhere up in heaven for a moment and then began to float back down like a feather in the wind.

Merle pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and let himself enjoy it while he could, he didn't suspect this would be happening again.

In the morning they'd pretend they were just shitfaced and never mention it again, it would have to be that way.

Merle knew it would fade into a distant memory but he liked it and he'd never be able to lie to himself that he didn't. In fact he never felt anything as good as what they'd just done, and he knew he never would. Every woman he'd been with was tolerating him, they didn't really know him and didn't fully accept who he was. In a sad way Daryl was the first person to actually make some kind of love to him.

Merle sat up on the edge of the bed and started reaching for his clothes.

"Thanks," he said, trying to sound like it was an every day thing.

"Merle..."

"What?"

"Do you regret it already?"

"That's the thing...I don't regret it but I feel like maybe I should."

"Oh."

"Daryl, I liked it, I think you know I did but it's confusing for me."

"Me too. Are you going to go now?"

"I can't drive anywhere, that's for sure. I'm still half cut."

"I mean back to your room."

"I was gonna, why?"

"You could stay here if you wanted."

Merle heard something in his voice that sounded like when they were kids, a kind of vulnerability, and he gave in to it.

He pulled on his boxers and lay back down next to him.

Daryl fell asleep first, leaning his forehead against Merle's shoulder and he knew this was going to change them forever. He didn't know what tomorrow would look like or next week but it would never be quite the same between them...

~The End~

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 _ **This work involves some themes that are NOT my original idea.**_

 _ **~Merle experiencing sexual deprivation/frustration**_

 _ **~Daryl being the one with some male/male experience**_

 ** _These ideas are from the great author pharmtechgrl71 and she is aware that I used them in this work. I wrote this particular story as a kind of homage to her story The Good Brother which is a FANTASTIC Merle/Daryl piece which you should read if you love good slash._**

 ** _I'm just trying something new and was inspired by her work:)_**


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